How I’m Trending

Big brother is watching.

Let's take a look at the items Google, oh master of the Universe, has decided I need today.

• Plus size party dresses.

Yes, I've been known to look up diet-related items as I'm perpetually interested in health. The science is settled. Those interested in diet are in need of plus size party dresses.


• 10 Ways to Detoxify Your Body.

I direct you toward bullet point number one. I look up diet junk. Sue me.


• Find the Best Toys for Your Cat.


Yes, Surfer Boy and I adopted a kitten four months ago, a fact I've discussed in various places including my kitchen where my iPhone sits, speaker ready to record my every whim.


• The Biggest 4K TV Deals.


What's a 4K TV? Am I really that much of a loser that they think all I do is sit around in my plus size party dress watching TV?


• Great Deals on Men's Watches.


Seems I got this one a while back and didn't bite. Move on, Google.


• Quality Billiard Tables.


Now we're talking. I can see myself now wearing my plus size party dress, body detoxified, 4K TV streaming Mad Men while I wear my men's watch and say, "Eight ball in the side pocket!"